MY PERSONAL WANTS TO GET PERSONAL WITH YOU
(SWF ISO SWF or SWM or BJM or DJM or GWM or M&M's)

I prefer Elvis,
but I am willing to consider someone else -
as long as you don't look like Newt Gingrich.
In the past five years
Christmas has come more than I have,
so I don't care who I prefer.
I stopped abusing alcohol and
now only abuse small children and
people who can't see.
I smoke
on elevators
and inform everyone that the NO SMOKING sign
is to remind the people who don't anymore
that they've quit.
I once intended to be a rich and famous romantic
taxi cab driver.
Then I got over it and
decided I'd rather be a housewife
in New Jersey
with 116 pairs of Calvin Klein designer jeans,
a real estate license and a Hyundai.
I am everything I've always hated:
conservative, bourgeois, monogamous -
but I still intend to become rich and famous
and would like to meet someone here in New York City
who doesn't.
If you adore sunrises - with tequila in them -
wish you'd never heard of Beany Babies
and have a yellow-diamond shaped sign
hanging in your rear windshield
that says "Child In Trunk" -
then you must be the one for me.
Please RSVP.
Quickly!
(circa 1985)